Friday, October 7, 2011

Wishing and Hoping....

Tonight I will be enjoying one final date with my husband before baby #4 arrives.  It has been touch and go whether we would make it to this night or not.  As always things are never simple when it comes to me and babies.  I started having some more intense contractions Wednesday night and labored through the night only to have things fade out by morning. The result was mostly just achiness all day Thursday but obviously no baby.
It's amazing how you can be perfectly content that the baby will come whenever it's supposed to and then when something like that happens all the sudden you find yourself anxious and ready for the baby to just come. I have had to adjust myself to my former way of thinking, which is that the baby could very well wait another week or so to join us here in the outer world. I did find myself praying that the Lord would make it soon and then stopped myself because I want so much to be happy no matter what.  So at this point I am resting in the Lord's timing and looking forward to an evening out without the kids around.
I am also trying to psychologically prepare for having a baby in the house again. This has been a bigger adjustment than in the past. All my boys are spaced out 2 years apart so the memories of having a baby were still very fresh in my mind when the next baby joined us.  This time my youngest is 3 and I am finding that the memories of that tiny baby stage are so faded that it's almost as if this is my first baby all over again. I know it will all come back but for now I am trying to prepare myself for what is coming and waiting patiently for his or her arrival.

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