I am finding myself in the midst of an internal struggle. Up until this point my vision for settling down has been of a home with character and history located very centrally in the downtown area where I can walk pretty much anywhere I could possibly desire to go. This vision is shared by my husband who longs to be in a location where students can walk to our home for Bible studies or just some down time.
I mentioned before that our previous landlord was extremely inflexible, leaving us no hope or opportunity to find a house to call our own. With the daunting prospect of committing another year of our lives to a somewhat cramped environment and dominating landlord we took one last grasp at a post we saw on craigslist for a month to month rental. Although it seemed too good to be true we loaded up our family on one final hunting expedition. What we came upon was a haven in the country. A rental on the owner's horse ranch. A place surrounded by breathtaking views. An open floor plan which works wonderfully for hosting parties (and for boys "vrooming" dump trucks). A deck right outside our bedroom door which we have already taken advantage of (last night we walked out only to be overwhelmed by the endless brilliant stars and the peaceful sounds of the world at night). It didn't take very long to sign on the dotted line and claim all this as ours (at least temporarily).
And now I find I am struggling with the temporary part of the whole arrangement. I begin envisioning us still residing here when #4 comes along (and #4 doesn't exist yet). I am already captivated at the thoughts of fall. If I think the views are amazing now I can't even begin to imagine what this place is like in the fall. Then there's Christmas, New Years, and so many other wonderful things I would like to enjoy in this Walden Pond of mine.
This morning I went for my morning jog greeted by the magnificent blue ridge mountains and an incredibly blue sky. Soon after breakfast I took the boys for a hike on the property and was again overtaken by the awe-inspiring stillness and granduer of the forest. The boys drank it in as well and only the promise for returning again soon (it's pretty much in our front yard) got them to drag themselves back home for lunch.
It will be hard to leave all of this beauty. I keep reminding myself that this is only temporary. That soon we will need to settle into a house of our own. That we can't sequester ourselves in the middle of nowhere and still hope to make an impact on our community, but until then I plan on drinking deeply in the creation that surrounds me.